I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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