Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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