guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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