Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize