listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize