yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
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