I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize