He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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