Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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