I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize