Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize