oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize