You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Randomize