My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize