apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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