Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
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Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
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OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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