My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Randomize