sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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