just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize