Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
our cab driver is having phone sex.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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