): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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