i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize