You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Be still, my beating vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize