When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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