dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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