I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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