are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
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They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
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HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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