I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize