my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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