Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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