im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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