Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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