we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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