I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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