My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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