i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
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I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
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Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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