You're a womanizer and a bitch.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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