Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize