I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize