Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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