Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize