I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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