I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
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Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
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i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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