my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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