just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize