If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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