4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize