Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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