I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
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i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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