im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize